Waiting for the plane: those old feelings.

I'm in that old familiar state of mind, waiting for the plane and over thinking it all. Have I packed too much or the wrong things? Is all this effort worth it? I mean, I quit my job to do this. All the 'I'm gonna miss you's' along the way. Am I going to have to be rolled off the plane at the end of trip and subsequently pass out when I return to my usual fitness regimes at home because my arteries will be full of bacon and potato? Will I return poor and begging for a job and feeling a little displaced?

Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't. And amongst all these normal vulnerable feelings, are opportunities to fulfilling experiences. Especially the challenging ones. Those experiences traveling that suck the most at the time usually make the best stories later and are character building.

Even though I chose to do this trip, and worked hard to make it happen, it feels different this timeI

I spoke about it with a Psychologist. She said to me that now that I am over 25, my brain responds differently and thinks differently now that it is fully developed. This makes sense that when I was 21 and went to Mexico and Guatemala for nearly two months, my family panicked and I just smiled, booked my ticket and hopped on the plane. My other friend Jane, said that the older we are, the more experiences we have and then we therefore think a lot more about the implications of our actions.

But again, I chose to do this. I think that people felt that I must have been in crisis to have to do this. I'm not in crisis, I'm also not unhappy. I'm grateful for all the good people and things I have in my life. I complain about change but I deliberately invite change.

Okay, so honestly this could be a pre 30 crisis. While a lot of people around me are getting married and having kids (and I am really happy for them), that's not me, at least right now. Culturally, people sometimes panic on behalf of the singletons, or become sympathetic as though if you are single, you must be cursed.

People get excited when I tell them my travel plans, and then panic on my behalf when I say I am resigning from my job. I'm an over thinker and have over thought every part of this decision 100 times through.

My over thinking and the combined shocked and pleasantly surprised reactions are a good thing though. It means I am taking good risks. Not doing something just because of fear itself is not a good enough reason to do something.

So here I go!


Oh and here comes my awesome cousin Dana to stop me from overthinking, wahoo!