Feeling pretty blue post accident 18.07.16

Yesterday I borrowed a scooter and zoomed around Canguu.I didn't want to tempt fate with another accident, but after yesterday, I thoughts, what the hell. I stumbled across another yoga studio called 'The Practice' and walked in just as another session was starting,  so I joined in.

I stumbled across some Sunday Markets too.

 I had a sleep in the after noon, a swim up to my neck and hung out with Priscila and her Spanish friends. We were going to go to  dinner and a concert together but I felt ill and had an early night.

Dad emailed me today and what he said could not have been more in sync. The adrenaline has worn off and now I am now down in the dumps.y face is a bit swollen and I've managed to get a cold on top of that.

I'm not sure if I will publish this post.

I emailed my friends back home with my blog,  one friend responded. I guess all that it was titled was 'Bali Blog' but I am sad that only one friend emailed back. My family have contacted me often and are telling me that if I want to, I should come home. I could keep up most of my optimism today but today it has worn. It is raining today and the weather sings to the melody of my heart.

I am waiting to see the Doctor this morning. She will change the dressing and review the wound. I trust her and am thankful for her but I am nervous to see what it looks like underneath. I looked up 'a surfboard hit my head, how will it scar' and a discouraging article came up.

The truth is, I have felt this significant emptiness in the last year and I just cant seem to shake it or fix it, and I am tired of it. I have nightmares most nights that make me feel bad about myself. I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time and now I am put in this situation.  It cannot be helped.

This is a blue day and I am not sure whether it is best that I stay here or go home.

I feel like my body and soul are falling to pieces.